


How Are You So Efficiently Cheesy Oh God

by Kashika



Series: Texting [3]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Humour, M/M, Problems, Sass, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14279469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashika/pseuds/Kashika
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Youngbae isn't always the first one to text Jiyong when something is about Seungri. Sometimes, it happens the other way around, too.This time, however, something's majorly off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nero/gifts).



> Alright, so this took me literal ages to update and I'm very sorry! I had this half-finished on my laptop for months but never quite got around to actually finish it with any good idea. I still haven't quite finished it for some development purposes (which is also why it'll have two chapters this time) but I promise I'll post the second chapter soon.
> 
> Also, I have a draft of what this chapter was originally supposed to look like (before rethinking it a bit and taking a somewhat new perspective) so if you want to have that as a bonus chapter (unrelated to the series then) let me know!
> 
> Either way, I wish you fun reading!
> 
> P.S: While it's obviously reasonable to read the previous two parts of the series it's not required to understand the plot.

** [Jiyong] **

Youngbae I gotta ask you something

[14:23 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

You never use my name like that

[14:25 pm]

Did something happen?

[14:25 pm]

  


** [Jiyong]  
** uh no, sorry, autocorrect

[14:26 pm]

you and Seungri are dating, right?

[14:26 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

…

[14:27 pm]

You know we are

[14:28 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

eh, yeah. Of course I do. 

[14:29 pm] 

and you really like him, right?

[14:29 pm] 

  


** [Youngbae] **

Well of course I like him, I wouldn’t date him otherwise

[14:30 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

yeah ok but how much?

[14:30 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

What do you mean how much?

[14:31 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

how much do you like Seungri?

[14:31 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

You know how much I like him why would you suddenly ask that?

[14:32 pm]

And why do you keep referring to maknae like that?

[14:32 pm]

Seeing you use no nicknames creeps me out are you sure everything’s okay?

[14:33 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

yes of course everything’s fine what should be wrong??

[14:34 pm]

just pretend I don’t know how much you like maknae and tell me

[14:34 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

...Ji you’re acting really weird

[14:35 pm]

Are you really sure nothing happened?

[14:36 pm]

Wait, did Seungri do something?

[14:36 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

what?

[14:37 pm]

no! 

[14:37 pm]

why does everyone always

[14:37 pm]

nevermind

[14:38 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Did he say something to you then?

[14:38 pm]

About me??

[14:38 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

no he didn’t just answer my question ok

[14:39 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Oh god is he bored of me already or something?

[14:39 pm]

** [Jiyong] **

what? No of course not!

[14:40 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Or did you see him with someone else?

[14:40 pm]

Did he tell you he wants to stop dating me??

[14:40 pm]

  


[Jiyong]

no! God, calm down Youngie, nothing like that!

[14:41 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

You never call me Youngie

[14:42 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

what no of course I do

[14:43 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

You always call me Bae, the only one who calls me Youngie is Seungri

[14:43 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

I must’ve just picked that up accidentally then

[14:44 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

He only calls me Youngie when nobody is around

[14:44 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

well he just told me then that he calls you that ok

[14:45 pm]

anyway this is not why I texted you Youngbae I don’t have time right now can you please just answer my question??

[14:46 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Why do you need to know so badly how much I like Seungri??

[14:46 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

that’s

[14:47 pm]

it’s a secret.

[14:48 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

A secret.

[14:48 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

yes, a secret!

[14:49 pm]

now can you just hurry up

[14:49 pm]

please??

[14:50 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

I still don’t get why you so desperately need to know that?

[14:51 pm]

I mean, shouldn’t you kinda know?

[14:51 pm]

Especially after

[14:51 pm]

You know what.

[14:52 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

after what?

[14:52 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

You know what. The thing. 

[14:52 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

what thing??

[14:53 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

THE thing.

[14:53 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

writing the ‘the’ in all caps doesn’t help me at all could you please be more specific

[14:54 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

I can’t believe you’re making me say this…

[14:54 pm]

After I asked you to practice kissing with me before going out with Seungri on our first date

[14:55 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

YOU

[14:55 pm]

DID

[14:55 pm]

WHAT

[14:56 pm]

OH MY GOD

[14:56 pm]

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT

[14:56 pm] 

  


** [Youngbae] **

Hello there Seungri

[14:57 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

YOUNGBAE YOU CAN’T PRACTICE KISSING WITH OTHER PEOPLE

[14:58 pm]

NOT EVEN JIYONG IT’S NOT FAIR

[14:58 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Seungri calm down, I was joking

[14:59 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

I WANTED TO BE YOUR FIRST KISS

[14:59 pm]

HOW COULD YOU LET JIYONG BE YOUR FIRST KISS

[15:00 pm]

** [Youngbae] **

He wasn’t Seungri, I was just joking so you’d slip up

[15:00 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

NOT EVEN I DID THAT

[15:01 pm]

wait, really  ㅠㅠ ?

[15:01 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Yes really Ri-yah

[15:02 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

promise?

[15:02 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

I promise. 

[15:02 pm]

I mean

[15:03 pm]

Why would I want to waste my first kiss on Jiyong to practice when I could have it with you instead?

[15:03 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

you can’t just say something like that how am I supposed to respond to this omg

[15:04 pm]

how are you so efficiently cheesy oh god

[15:04 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

‘Efficiently cheesy’?

[15:04 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

y’know, like, cheesy but it works

[15:05 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Being cheesy works on you?

[15:05 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

what 

[15:06 pm]

wait

[15:06 pm]

no!!

[15:06 pm] 

it doesn’t!!

[15:06 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Of course being cheesy would work on you, you love cheesy dramas 

[15:07 pm]

How did I not realise this before?

[15:07 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

oh god why

[15:08 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Because you’re especially cute when you’re flustered

[15:08 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

hyuuung

[15:08 pm]

stop ittt

[15:09 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Kkkkk alright alright

[15:09 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

:’(

[15:10 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Aww, don’t cry Ri-yah

[15:10 pm]

Though on a different note, why did you want to know so badly how much I like you that you even stole Jiyong’s phone to text me?

[15:11 pm]

I mean, you know that I like you a lot

[15:11 pm]

Don’t you?

[15:12 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

I know

[15:12 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

But…?

[15:13 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

this is embarrassing 

[15:13 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Please? 

[15:14 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

but it's REALLY embarrassing 

[15:14 pm]

can't we just idk pretend this never happened or something?? 

[15:14 pm]

  


** [Youngbae]  **

You made me really curious now though 

[15:15 pm]

It can't be that bad

[15:15 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

but it is 

[15:15 pm]

like really

[15:15 pm]

like really REALLY

[15:16 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Bad?

[15:16 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

no, embarrassing

[15:16 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

C’mon Ri-yah

[15:17 pm]

It’s me

[15:17 pm]

There’s nothing you need to be embarrassed about with me

[15:17 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

there is

[15:18 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Why?

[15:18 pm]

Are you afraid I’ll laugh?

[15:18 pm]

I promise I won’t

[15:19 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

it’s not about laughing

[15:19 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Then what is it?

[15:19 pm]

You can tell me everything, you know that, right? 

[15:19 pm]

I’m not laughing or judging you or anything

[15:20 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

okay.. 

[15:21 pm]

I'll tell you

[15:21 pm]

  


** [Youngbae]  **

Thank you

[15:21 pm]

Seungri…? 

[15:24 pm]

I don't mean to push you but this silence is really worrisome 

[15:27 pm]

  


** [Jiyong]  **

I'm trying ok!! 

[15:27 pm]

but I don't wanna make things too complicated between us

[15:28 pm]

oh shit Jiyong is coming back I’ll text you when I’m safe

[15:28 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Don’t forget to delete or you’re skinned anyway

[15:29 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

delete what?

[15:32 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Hi Jiyong

[15:32 pm]

Sorry, wrong conversation 

[15:32 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

who were you texting?

[15:33 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Seungri

[15:33 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

aha

[15:33 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Yeah

[15:33 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

then how come his phone is lying on the table

[15:34 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

He must have left it and went to the bathroom??

[15:34 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

or he just forgot to delete your whole conversation in the first place 

[15:35 pm]

and is currently hiding under the couch

[15:35 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

He still fits under that??

[15:35 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

ikr I’m surprised too

[15:36 pm]

slightly tempted to sit down on it tbh but given your texts I’ll throw him a bone for once

[15:36 pm]

text me when you two are done so I can skin him for touching my phone

[15:37 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Will do

[15:37 pm]

Go gentle on him though

[15:37 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

when was I ever not gentle to maknae?

[15:37 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Do you want me to answer this honestly or…

[15:38 pm]

  


** [Jiyong] **

nah, I’m out of the room now

[15:39 pm]

you go enjoy your flustered Ri~

[15:39 pm]

  


** [Youngbae] **

Thanks, I guess…??

[15:39 pm]

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I ashamed it took so long? Yes.  
> Do I have a proper excuse? Probably not.
> 
> Well, enjoy anyway, I hope.

**[Youngbae]**

Still alive? 

_ 15:40 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

yeah, I sneaked into my room now

_ 15:43 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

So, about what you wanted to tell me

_ 15:44 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

yeah, right 

_ 15: 45 PM _

so

_ 15:45 PM _

y'know

_ 15:45 PM _

why I did this

_ 15:45 PM _

the whole stealing Ji-hyung’s phone 

and asking how much you like me thing

_ 15:46 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Yes…?

_ 15:46 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

well

_ 15:46 PM _

ok

_ 15:47 PM _

ok I know this is shitty 

but can’t you, y’know, answer my question first anyway maybe??

_ 15:49 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

You mean how much I like you?

_ 15:49 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

yeah…

_ 15:49 PM _

I know I said I’d tell you but that’d make it really much much easier

_ 15:50 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

And you’ll really answer after I answered your question?

_ 15:50 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

promise

_ 15:51 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Alright, you troublesome maknae 

_ 15:51 PM _

You know how much I’m a devoted Christian, right?

_ 15:52 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

yes…?

_ 15:52 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Well, if liking another guy as a guy myself really would be a sin I’d gladly go to hell for you

_ 15:52 PM _

...Seungri?

_ 15:55 PM _

Sorry, was that too much...?

_ 15:59 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

Seunghyun-hyung was right, I'm an idiot 

_ 16:00 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

What, why? 

_ 16:00 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

because I've been stupidly worried and overthinking for no reason

_ 16:01 PM _

Youngie, you really are the best thing that ever happened to me

and I know you're a very romantic guy but I guess letting you wait any longer would be unfair 

so I hope you don't mind me saying this over text:

_ 16:02 PM _

Youngie, I love you.

_ 16:02 PM  _

and I don't just mean ‘I like you and you're hot so let's go on dates’ but like, I'm really very very much in love with you

_ 16:03 PM _

I want you to properly and officially be my boyfriend and take you to stupid parties as my plus one

_ 16:03 PM _

I want to have everyone know who can

_ 16:04 PM _

and have Teddy-Hyung tease us about it and Jiyong-hyung tell us to work instead of being all lovey-dovey

_ 16:04 PM _

I want Daesung-hyung and Seunghyun-hyung to make gagging noises at us when I'm going to give you morning kisses at breakfast

_ 16:05 PM _

I want YG to give us a side-eye because I'm going to sit on your lap in meetings

_ 16:05 PM _

I want our makeup noonas to chastise us because we're full of hickeys and I want to just grab your hand and pull you close when there's nobody nearby and sneak myself a kiss because I fucking love you 

_ 16:06 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Seungri

_ 16:07 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

yes…?

_ 16:07 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

You really are an idiot

_ 16:08 PM _

A big, baffling, oblivious idiot 

_ 16:08 PM _

But you're my idiot

_ 16:08 PM  _

I'll tell Jiyong off from killing you for touching his phone just this once so get yourself ready, I'll get you in half an hour when I'm free again 

_ 16:09 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

ready for what exactly?

_ 16:09 PM  _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Y'know what? 

_ 16:10 PM _

It's a secret, actually 

_ 16:10 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

I guess I had that one coming huh

_ 16:10 PM _

 

**[Youngbae]**

Who knows…? 

_ 16:11 PM _

See you soon Ri-yah

_ 16:11 PM _

 

**[Seungri]**

alright alright 

_ 16:11 PM _

see you soon Youngie

_ 16:12 PM _

  
  
  



End file.
